Dealing with Toxic Relationships, Mental Health

Why do Empaths Attract Narcissists or Toxic People?

Why do Narcissist attract Empaths-Revamp Mind

Sometimes, the saying- opposites attract can be harmful instead of beneficial. Narcissists and Empaths are the best examples of this. Narcissist means toxic people also known as somebody with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

They have no empathy toward others and believe that there is no one above them. On the other hand, empaths are sensitive people who feel others’ pain and emotions.

To understand this further, let’s look at a few key signs of each.

Narcissistic personality disorder
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Signs of Narcissists

  1. They mostly do things for their benefit. They do not feel any shame, guilt, or remorse before or after hurting others.

2. They’re very insecure but feel superior to everyone.

3. Narcissists’ behavior is fueled by their false pride and achievement. They can’t bear to see others getting praised or stealing the limelight from them (narcissists).

4. To gain others’ trust and stay in control- they use techniques like manipulation, victim card, and gaslighting.

5. They’re arrogant and rude. They have flying monkeys (those people who blindly support narcissists and do everything as told by them) and keep putting them up on the pedestal.

6. They can’t take “No” from anyone. Their EGO doesn’t accept that others can refuse them.

7. They can insult, taunt and make jokes about you. Instruct you on whom to talk to and what to do but you cannot do the same to them.

To know how narcissists trap people, watch our YouTube video.

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Now, it’s time to look at a few qualities of Empaths

Why narcissists attract Empaths
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Signs of Empaths

  1. Empaths mean people who can feel others’ emotional and sometimes even physical pain.

2. They can relate to others’ problems easily.

3. They’re good listeners, so people come to them for advice.

4. Empaths are always willing to help. Even if you didn’t ask for their help, they will still try and help. They feel guilty if unable to help others.

5. They’re insecure and need validation from others to believe that they are good.

6. Many empaths trust others with ease and are more vulnerable to manipulation and toxic people.

why empaths atrtract narcissists
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What do narcissists do to empaths?

Empaths and Narcissists have a strange relationship. Empaths get attracted to narcissists because of their (Empaths) helpful and caring nature. And every narcissist has at least one empath in their life. Many times, empaths tolerate tantrums, abuses, and toxic narcissistic behaviour without recognizing the toll the relationship is taking on them.

They are extremely toxic people who are manipulative by nature. They make Empaths believe that the empath is at fault and they (narcissists) are tolerating empaths because they feel pity for them. 

Want to improve your physical & mental health? Check our Self-Improvement Free Checklist (signs of toxic people) included in the checklist.

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Both narcissists and empaths are insecure and sensitive. The only difference is that narcissists are sensitive and caring only towards themselves and empaths are towards others.

As mentioned above, narcissists use empaths (also called flying monkeys) for their advantage. They play manipulative, blame games, and make empaths feel guilty till empaths reach a breaking point in the relationship. By that time, they’re (empaths) mentally, physically, emotionally, and sometimes even financially exhausted, suffer from various physical and mental ailments, and much more.

why empaths get attracted to narcissists
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How can empaths protect themselves from narcissists?

Empaths are kind-hearted people who want to help others. But understanding how to be kind but not allow others to use or take you for granted is essential.

Empaths need to know that they are responsible for themselves and their happiness first and then for others. We cannot make others happy as everyone’s happiness lies in their hands. Narcissists love being appreciated and worshipped and hardly care about others feeling. This can be very toxic and draining for others. Hence, it’s better if these people get out of your life.

Empaths need to realize that they cannot please narcissists with their actions as narcissists do not see anyone worthy apart from themselves. So, trying to please a narcissist is a waste of time.

Narcissists are aware of their actions and others’ emotions as well but do not care about it. Your crying and pain don’t budge them. Instead, they may use your emotions against you. An empath needs to stop sharing their issues with narcissists.


Become mentally strong and develop Self-love. It would make you realize your worth and enhance your self-esteem. Narcissists are like poisonous snakes who bite despite you doing everything for them. So, keep narcissists out of your life.


About Nitya Rambhadran

Nitya Rambhadran is a founder of Revamp Mind | Blogger | YouTuber | Author | Mindset Coach. An aspiring thought leader who helps people find their inner strength and make a difference in their lives.
View all posts by Nitya Rambhadran →

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