“Toxic”, What Does This Word Mean?
Well, the dictionary says ‘Poisonous’, i.e. containing or being poisonous material. Hence, toxic is something that is negative, poisonous, and that causes damage. Any toxic thing should definitely be out of our lives. Such toxic traits come in human beings too and it’s important to identify the toxic people.
We often ignore the traits of toxic people. Toxic people are the ones who have a negative ability to make our lives poisonous. We all have that one “out of the blues” person in our lives — the one who fills us with negativity, the one who leaves us with the feeling of being the worst. We tend to feel heavy when we talk to them.
Such people cannot bear the happiness of others and keep on poking their noses. It could be anyone; a friend in disguise, a manipulative family member, or a co-worker with a political mind. These people are the ones who just cannot stop complaining about every tiny thing. It’s always better to stay away from toxic people.
It’s not wrong in calling such people “Toxic”. They cannot get off their toxic traits, but it’s important for us to be aware of such people. We should always keep in mind that the term “Toxic” is neither grounded in psychology nor does it carry a simple definition.
Something About Traits Of Toxic People
It is really important to allow our bodies to take a break from “toxic” food, air, and alcohol. But, it is also important for our minds to take a break from toxic people and toxic attitudes? Toxic people are as harmful as any other toxic thing, may it be food, alcohol, or poison. These people are extremely dangerous for our mental health. They actually try to distract us from healthy, productive, and positive habits/people.
They tend to discourage us from practicing good habits and staying with people of a positive mindset. They drag us down from being a better person and keep on discouraging us for every little thing. If you’re in a relationship where you don’t feel happy but are caged, read the signs of a toxic relationship.
Just like toxic relationships, toxic friendships are also as poisonous as any other venomous thing. Toxic people make us stick to our dark past and they never let us move on.
Key Signs Of Toxic People
Maintaining a toxic relationship with people who are self-centred, jealous, and manipulative are indeed the antagonists. In applied psychology, toxic personality traits are elaborated within the scope of the “Dark Triad” of narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism.
They require an enormous amount of emotional energy that gets difficult at times to manage. At times, it gets difficult to judge toxic people by their traits. Also, we cannot always spoil our relations with every other person we find toxic. Hence, sometimes we have to stay on good terms and maintain a distance at the same time. Toxic people tend to have many negative traits which may include the following:
- Self-absorption and self-centeredness
- Deceit and dishonesty
- A tendency to create a conflict
- Cold blooded
- Negative manipulation
- They are overly defensive
- They give backhanded compliments
- They are attention seekers
- They never respect our boundries
- They are envious
- They twist their words conveniently
- They are arrogant
5 Tips On Staying Away From Toxic People
Toxic people have a trait to defy logic. Some do it intentionally, while some are blissfully unaware of the fact that they might cause a negative impact on people around them. On the other hand, there are people who allegedly draw attention and make people uncomfortable with their negative thoughts.
Hence, it is important to learn how to deal with toxic people. We need to understand that toxic people are never ever worth our time. The drain out all the positivity of our minds and life.
1. Create Firm Communication Boundaries
Toxic people lack the ability to develop self-awareness. They just don’t realize that they are venomous and make people’s life toxic. They may or may not know how their actions can affect people negatively. Some people are very well aware of their toxicities and they do it with an intention. They are very much aware of their negative, apathetic, manipulative thoughts & tendencies and they don’t regret it also.
Someone rightly said, “treat people as you want yourself to be treated”. Hence, it is good to maintain a distance from such people. I personally believe we should surround ourselves with people whom we find good enough. A barrier between us and the toxic people helps maintain mental peace.
2. Trust Your Gut
The gut feeling becomes a best friend sometimes. At times, we get an awkward feeling just by looking at a specific person, that is what thegut feeling is. You can do this with your friends and coworkers, too! Even if you don’t see the tell-tale signs, you know when something is off, and you know to avoid some people. Trust yourself — there are plenty of happy people out there without trying out all the sourpusses.
3. Don’t Get Drawn In
Dealing with someone’s toxic behavior is highly exhausting. May it be a friend, relative, or anyone, they become a headache after some time. They might constantly feel envious of others’ happiness or simply keep on complaining about certain things. They always have a news story about the accused, unfair treatment, etc. which is a false narrative of course.
Here, we have to take care take that we are not getting carried away. We need to be mentally strong enough to deal with such people and just not pay heed to their talks. Just showing some sympathy by saying, “I am sorry about how you feel,” really helps. After delivering the statement, we can simply shut the topic there and then.
4. Put Yourself First
While dealing with toxic people, we should not forget that we are the most important for our own selves. We should not neglect ourselves. Toxic people aim to disturb our mental health and we tend to neglect our own health and just focus on those toxicities. We often forget that nothing else is more important than our own mental peace. Hence, keeping this point in mind is really a necessity, to be precise!
5. Confront Toxic People
People who involve us in gossip or manipulative activities, never realize how they affect others. This is because these activities are right in their eyes and there’s nothing wrong with it. Toxic people will never admit that they are venomous. Sometimes, an open-ended conversation might help such people realize that their behavior is highly unacceptable and intolerable. Hence, talking to them honestly might help. Making them realize that they are involved and involve people in toxic conversations can help at times.
We can start the conversations with the following statements:
- “My friend, I feel quite uncomfortable when I hear such unkind things about people. I beg to differ and I won’t participate in such conversations now.”
- “Trust is the biggest threshhold of any friendship or relationship. I’m sorry but I won’t continue this friendship if you lie to me again or talk about someone behind their back.”